5 signals to
help you spot someone who doesn’t want you to win.
The reality of life is that everyone isn’t going to have your best interests in mind. Lots of people don’t want you to surpass them in life. Instead, they want you to stay where they are. If you’re finding yourself growing and evolving, and the people around you are not necessarily the most supportive, you are most likely surrounded by people who don’t want you to win.
Avoiding jealous or envious people in your life is paramount for your personal growth. Jealous or envious people tend to resent others for having what they have. In turn, their behavior towards you will be negative, unsupportive, and even toxic. In turn, you will start to feel uncomfortable. There’s even a possibility their negative attitude will rub off on you. You need to stop that before it gets out of hand.
We have listed five signals below that will help you spot someone who doesn’t want you to win. If your gut is telling you that someone in your life is intimidated by your recent success, reflect on these signals and be honest with yourself whether you want this person in your life.
They only focus on the negative, as opposed to highlighting the positive.
When something good happens in your life, pay close attention to what others focus on. Are they celebrating the positives of the situation? Or are they highlighting the negatives of the situation? If they’re focusing on the latter, then there is a high chance you’re surrounded by someone who doesn’t want you to win. By focusing on the downsides, they are trying to scare you, with the hopes that you don’t take the opportunity. If someone was truly supportive, they would highlight the positives by congratulating you and reassuring you that your excitement is valid.
They try to copy you.
When you’re surrounded by a jealous person, they will typically try to outdo you. Since they envy what you have, they also want the same for themselves. To this end, they will do whatever they can to get what you have, or possibly, get even more.
For example, if you purchased certain clothes, and the other person proceeds to purchase and brag about the new clothes they purchased, they are trying to one-up you. They may even highlight the brand of clothes they purchased, and communicate that it’s more upscale than your new clothes. This behavior generally suggests jealousy. You don’t want to be around these kinds of people.
They are insecure.
Insecure people tend to transfer their insecurities on others. They do this because they want others to be insecure as well. They are intimidated by confidence and don’t want others to be the best versions of themselves. When someone has not developed their sense of self-worth, they will try to make others feel inferior. If you’re around someone that puts you down, you might want to reevaluate whether that person belongs in your life.
Although you should be a proponent to help build others become more confident, that grace should only be extended to people who want the best for you and mean well. If you feel like someone is coming from a malicious place, as opposed to a harmless place, then you’re most likely around someone who is trying to prevent you from evolving into a confident person.
They are unsupportive.
When someone doesn’t want you to win, they won’t genuinely support you. Instead, they’ll remain silent, play mind games with you, or even discourage you from pursuing your goals. If you feel like someone is unsupportive, you should really sit down and reflect. Ask yourself how you would treat the other person if the roles were reversed. If you feel like that same courtesy isn’t extended, then you’re most likely surrounded by an unsupportive person. Rather, they’re simply jealous of what you have achieved. You don’t want to be around unsupportive people.
There is a subtle difference between someone being envious and coveting what you have. There is nothing wrong with being around people who covet what you have. However, when someone is unsupportive, they’re typically envious.
They don’t celebrate with you.
When something good happens in your life, always pay close attention to the people who celebrate you. For example, if you purchased a new home and someone decides to not attend your housewarming party, that could be a huge indicator that they don’t like to see you’re winning. To mask their jealousy, they just completely avoid the situation. They will come up with various excuses to not celebrate your achievement.
“You have to be great friends and make each other laugh. We laugh a lot and neither is jealous of the other.”
– Ruby Wax